FLIBBITY.

I went grocery shopping today, because well, a girl's gotta eat.

And I realized AGAIN that I don't know if I will ever be able to handle having children. Lately it seems like every time I go out in public it is Poster Child for Birth Control Day. Seriously. This happens far to frequently. When were children replaced with SPAWN? I was not warned about this and I did not receive the memo.

I swear that I can feel my reproductive organs tying themselves up in knots pretty much everytime I go ouyt in public.

Take today, for example. There were several small children screeching repeatedly for no apparent reason. Screeching. High pitched, loud, and just to make noise. They did not appear to be upset, just obnoxious. Since they were small, I blame the moron parents. Seriously, do they actually think that this is cute? Does giving birth make your IQ plummet? What the hell?

Then there was the pre teen and teenage spawn. Ugh. I would expand on that statement, but I am just trying to forget it.

I think I will have dogs.

I am sure that you have all heard of "You Might Be a Redneck...". This is similar to that. I call it "You Might Be an Asshole". Unfortunately I think that more people will fit into this category.

You Might Be an Asshole if....

1. You wear SpongeBob pants in public. And you are an adult. If you are 5 or 6 it is cute. If you are 35, you are an asshole.

2. If you can't RTFS!!!!! (Read the f'in sign!!). I used to loathe the self check-outs in Wal Mart. HATED them. Then I realized that they are a huge time saver. That is when people have 20 items or less....as the sign very clearly states. Lately these half witts have been using the self check outs with full carts! There is no way that they get out of the store quicker, AND a huge line builds up behind them....all people who have only a few items. I don't understand why the store doesn't enforce this rule or why there wasn't an express lane open besides the self check outs.

I have also noticed that people always put their stuff thisclose to the person in front of them. Hello?????? Am I supposed to be a mind reader now? Then they get all snotty with me and yell at me! I am so sorry, I left my crystal ball at home. Dumbass. How hard is it to at least leave a space between your stuff and the person in front of you.

Don't get me started on the people who obviously have no idea how belts (at the register, not for your pants) or the credit card machines work. These are not hard concepts, people. Nor are they new inventions!

3. When stopped at a red light, common sense would tell you that you don't block driveways of businesses. You leave enough space so that people cans till get through. There is nothing better than traffic being backed up because somebody can't make a turn because god forbid some half wit can't be right on the bumper of the car in front of them.

This goes along with people stopped at the end of a long line of traffic, laying on their horn. WTF does that accomplish?

4. I also have to mention this chick that we had the pleasure of seeing at David's Bridal. What a complete asshole. She goes walking by like she is better than everybody and says "Matron of Honor coming through..." Hey, half wit? You are not special. What do you think everyone else was in the store for? To look at your dumb ass? Hardly. At least Martina waited until she walked by to acknowledge that this chick was an idiot. I wanted to trip her and say "Matron of Honor, falls on her ass......."

That's all for now. To be continued.....because there is an indefinite supply of assholes......

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.

When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others you won't be the victim of needless suffering.